Finalmente esse post tá no ar! Eu tava com muita vontade de fazê-lo desde que o VEDA terminou! Recebi muitos comentários que queria responder mas não tinha espaço e também observei algumas coisas no comportamento de vocês em relação ao aprendizado e aos vídeos, então eu tinha um monte de assunto pra conversar!
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Agora fiquem com o tão esperado texto que eu prometi pra vocês que escreveria usando todas as palavras do VEDA. Preparem-se porque o conteúdo que vocês estão prestes a ler é a história real (quer dizer, pra fins jurídicos, o conteúdo que vocês estão prestes a ler é baseado em uma história real) sobre a minha experiência no curso que fiz no Canadá. Ready?
For some reason, I decided to stand aloof from everyone else so I could scrutinize people’s personalities before getting involved with anyone from the group. They seemed so naive and shallow I figured, a couple of days later, I was better off alone. The problem is that I was never able to be anything but candid about my feelings and soon my classmates noticed I wasn’t particularly interested in them.
The instructor who would make us give impromptu speeches had the annoying habit of finishing up our classes way too early, and even though my classmates didn’t seem to care, his attitude felt wrong to me and quite bogus, because he would let us go but still sit in class by himself.
In an act of defiance, I decided to talk to the coordinator and that was kick off of the next year and half of fighting my way through that entire course. Turns out the instructor told the class what had happened and they instantly knew I had been the one to complain.
The following months were quite brutal; people would patronize me and talk behind my back all the time. I had to work on group assignments all by myself because I obviously didn’t have a group to be part of. I remember when one my instructors asked me “Why don’t you withdraw from this group once and for all? You could come back with the next one” – somehow she knew what I was going through. But I could do it and I didn’t ostracize the opportunity of showing my lovely classmates how wrong they were about me.
One of our final assignments was to create a massive presentation to a real client. The work was obviously meant to be done by a group, but I knew I would have to do it alone. I have to admit that, at certain point, I thought my goal was unattainable. But deep inside I could see myself thriving. The instructor thought my performance would be jeopardized from all the stress I was under, he even offered me to do less work. I couldn’t accept that. It was the final run and I was relentless.
I found a different genre of presentations, learned about it and created the best presentation I could possibly have created. I still remember yelping from excitement when I saw the final product one last time before presenting it. It was truly exquisite. It had been weeks since I had a proper night of sleep, and minutes before I got to the venue where the presentation would take place, I felt queasy and sick. I had to stop to go to the bathroom and throw up. But don’t misconstrue this as I sign of weakness, dear reader. I was ready.
When I finished my presentation, every single person in the room was flabbergasted. I could tell because, honestly, I felt the same. I managed to present my work with zest, looking in the eyes of each one of my classmates as if their attempts of making me feel like crap for the last eighteen months had never even scratched the surface of my self-esteem. Truth is it didn’t.
Sometimes I tell this story and people ask me if the problem had to do with xenophobia, with my heritage. I don’t think so. I think they felt threatened when they saw I would dare to be different. I think they thought that by teaming up against me, they would intimidate me and therefore end the threat they saw in me.
But when that final client stood up in front of everyone after all the presentations were over and said to whole class that if she could hire a person from that group, she would hire me, I think they finally understood their plan had failed miserably. I hope the feeling lingers within them, maybe that way they can grow better and stronger from that experience just like I did.
E aí, o que acharam?! Espero ansiosamente pelos comentários de vocês!